It isn’t all what it seems

How many of us have heard phrases like, “That just needs to be left at home,” “You can’t bring that kind of attitude or emotion into work,” or “When you walk through those doors, you have to be fully focused on work”?

The truth is, you can’t.

When you live with mental illness, there is no "leaving it at home." It’s with you every waking moment. I wish it were as simple as shutting a door and leaving it behind, but that’s not how it works. Mental illness doesn’t take a day off just because you have a big meeting, a deadline, or a job that demands your attention. It seeps into everything.

You might sit in a meeting, trying your hardest to focus, while your brain is screaming at you with thoughts you can’t ignore. It’s like there’s a storm raging in your mind while you’re expected to smile, nod, and contribute as though everything is fine. Sometimes, the storm wins.

There are moments when it all becomes too much. Your heart races, your palms sweat, and your chest feels tight. You step away—not because you want to, but because you have to. Because if you don’t, you might break down right there. And so, you find a quiet corner or the bathroom, just to catch your breath, just to hold on.

Self-soothing strategies become your lifeline. Whether it’s counting your breaths, grounding yourself by naming things in the room, or using whatever small tools you have to feel even a fraction of control, you do what you must. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it doesn’t.

It’s exhausting. And it’s terrifying. Mental illness is scary, unpredictable, and relentless. Yet so many people don’t understand how deeply it affects every aspect of your life. It’s not just a “bad day” or a mood that can be snapped out of. It’s not something you can leave at the door because it is the door, it’s how you enter the room, how you see the world, how you experience everything around you.

What makes it harder is the stigma. The fear that if you show even a glimpse of what you’re going through, people might judge you, label you, or think you’re not capable. So, you hide it. You mask it as best you can. But masking takes energy—energy you already don’t have—and it only adds to the weight you’re carrying.

Workplaces often talk about being inclusive and supportive, but for many, there’s still a gap between words and actions. It’s not enough to say, “We’re here if you need us,” when the culture still prioritises productivity over people’s well-being. Real change means creating environments where it’s safe to be human, where it’s okay to not be okay.

Living with mental illness doesn’t make you weak. If anything, it shows your strength. To get up every day, to keep going even when your mind and body are at war with each other, that’s resilience. But resilience shouldn’t mean you have to fight alone.

If you’re reading this and you’ve ever felt like you’re failing because you can’t leave your struggles “at home,” know this: you’re not failing. You’re surviving. And that’s more than enough.